you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Randomize
