great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
Randomize
