what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
Randomize