I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
I met the friendliest cop last night
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
Randomize
