your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Randomize
