just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Randomize
