I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone
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