Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
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