your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
i need some magic done to my vagina
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize
