quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
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