I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
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