Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
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