ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
Get my husband this drunk again I will rip off your balls off with my bare hands and then cut them up with a dirty axe like fish bits. Do you understand me? DO YOU UNDERSTAND ME?! See you at breakfast, FUCK FACE. I'll shove that bottle of Jamison so far up your ass you'll still be praying in 2020 you can take a shit! Seriously, you make it hard to be your best friend.
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
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