Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
Shitshow foam night was such a success
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
Randomize