So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
Randomize
