I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
Randomize
