Just mADE A PArabola og urine
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
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