jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
"Functional." Your standards for how you feel after drinking are so high.
When your night starts by chugging margarita and drinking vodka out of tupperware, I feel it's best to stay realistic.
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
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