whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
Randomize
