I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
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