you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Randomize
