The first thing on our $10,000 damage bill was "condoms in the main drain"
That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
Randomize