i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
Randomize
