i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
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