dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
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