Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
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