so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
Randomize
