Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
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