lets start a swedish sibling band together
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
Randomize
