Cold hands, warm shart.
Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
