i woke up with my moms heels on underneath your couch cushions
you want 1 or 2 eggos?
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
should my penis look like a turkey
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
Randomize