He had one of those small greek statue penises
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
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