As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
Randomize
