I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
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