my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
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