we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
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