I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
Randomize
