All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.
it was a sexy soul patch.
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
i believe in u and ur pee
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