Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
Randomize