this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
My orgasm happened in two different decades
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
Randomize
