it seems as if every mistake i've ever made in life i've had an errection in one hand and a bud light in the other
My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
Randomize
