is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
I just walked into my kitchen and my little brother is standing with his face two inches from the clock, staring at it, and eating an apple. I asked wtf he was doing and he just goes "the hour hand is moving VERY slowly".
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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