end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
