i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
Ur keys r in ur purse. ur purse is on the couch. ur cigs r on ur front seat. u drank all ur wine. mollie took ur jkt bc u cockblocked her. and in case anyone asks, the saints won 31-17.
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
Actions speak louder than pants.
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
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