so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
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