Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
Randomize
