I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
Randomize
