They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
my god I love twenty year old dicks
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
Randomize
