We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
Just when I thought we may have our first low-key night together, I sang an Aladdin karaoke song to a bunch of roller derby girls, you took shots with married women, and we both fell asleep in our offices.
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
