i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
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