your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
No I am not eating basil off your cock
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
Randomize
