did you get engaged???
would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
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