and next time when you feel me up, do it right
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
Randomize
