You really coming over, don't trick.
dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
Randomize
