Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
Randomize
