I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
Randomize
