You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
Randomize
