i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
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