5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway.
Thanks, mom.
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
Randomize
