i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
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