i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
Randomize
