"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
Randomize
